Today’s youth struggle with self-worth, self-acceptance, and peer acceptance. In their quest for affirmation, suicides have emerged among young children and teens. According to the UC Davis Health report of April 8, 2021, “Suicide is the second leading cause of death among people ages 10-24 and has been increasing every year since 2007.”Therefore, it is not surprising that a link exists between bullying and suicide, which drives victims from depression and hopelessness to self-destructive behavior. Most alarming is the JAMA Pediatrics’ report stating that cyberbullying causes kids to consider suicide more than traditional bullying.
What is self-worth? Self-worth is confidence in one’s own worth and abilities. It is how many people measure their value as a person. Yet the Bible defines healthy self-worth or self-esteem as deep satisfaction, humility, and meekness.
Self-worth comes from either a healthy sense of satisfaction in one’s achievements, or it is carnal in nature and takes all credit for personal accomplishments, while refusing to acknowledge that it is God who gives each person talents and opportunities to succeed. Thus, the same carnal pride that caused Satan’s fall, rejects God’s hand in their success.
Self-worth can never be based on the approval of others, because if that approval is withheld or success doesn’t come, then deep feelings of worthlessness and doubt occupy that person’s thoughts. That often leads to depression and/or a never-ending and debilitative cycle of comparing oneself to others.
God’s Word says, “Have no confidence in the flesh” (Philippians 3:3). The Apostle Paul wrote these words to counter the claims of those who thought they were acceptable to God based on their heredity, training, or religious devotion. That is not God’s criteria, because each person is equal in His eyes (Acts 10:34). God is not impressed with resumés, because He looks at the heart.
Humility is shown by those who are modest in their view of their own importance. They do not have a low evaluation of themselves because they see themselves from God’s point of view. They trust in His promise that those who humble themselves before Him, will be lifted up (James 4:10). But the unwise and reckless will plunge ahead with great confidence (Proverbs 14:16).
We are the objects of God’s love without regard to our works or performance. He resists the proud and rewards the humble person who is totally yielded to Him and seeks after and accepts His will for their life.
Part of Psalm 139 is quoted to reveal how special and unique each person is in God’s eyes.
You have searched me, Lord,
and You know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
You perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue
You, Lord, know it completely. (vs. 1-4)
For you created my inmost being;
You knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from You
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in Your book
before one of them came to be.
How precious to me are Your thoughts, God!
How vast is the sum of them!
Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand—
when I awake, I am still with You. (vs. 13-18)
Bullying loses its power over a child when they are taught to reaffirm to their heart and mind that they are God’s miraculous workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, that God prepared beforehand, that they should walk in them (Ephesians 2:10). He knew them before He formed them in their mother’s womb. Before they were born, He set them apart and appointed them with a specific calling and purpose. His plans are for them to prosper and not to harm them, plans to give them a hope and a future (Jeremiah 1:4-5; Jeremiah 29:11).
We have the freedom to believe God’s promises or believe Satan—the father of lies (John 8:44). He is a bully and the accuser who works through people to steal hope and joy, to kill, and to destroy. But Jesus said, “I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly” (John 10:10).
Skillset, intellect, accomplishments, status, financial resources, or appearance cannot be determiners for self-esteem. This type of self-esteem leads to prideful self-worship, with little or no room to worship God, who opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble (James 4:6). Self-worth will never come by trusting in earthly resources or prideful accomplishments.
The person who attaches their value to their achievements will never find true happiness. There will always be a void that constantly needs to be filled with things or accomplishments that help that person feel complete and successful. Only when there is a realization that worth and joy come only from a relationship with the Lord, can there be contentment and peace within one’s own soul. No person or earthly treasure will ever fill that void. Each person must find their way to believing that God loves them and has a special plan for their life.
People are most miserable when they take God out of the driver’s seat. If they would learn to sit with Him, especially when they are frustrated and questioning, and believe that He knows the way because He is the Way, they would be happier. With God at the wheel, there is assurance that those who ride with Him and trust Him will reach their God-appointed destination.
The bottom line to happiness is trusting and believing that God has an individualized plan, purpose, and a future mapped out for each person. Either we trust in our own plans, or we trust God and the course He has lovingly set before us. Those who gauge their happiness and success by looking at another’s life-journey will never discover true happiness.
A truly happy person has surrendered their will to God’s will just as Jesus did when He said, “Not my will, but Your will be done.” Lest we forget, Adam and Eve had their every need met, yet they listened to Satan who convinced them that God was withholding good things from them.
God withholds no good thing from His children. It is unbelief and a lack of trust in His plan that creates a barrier to receiving what God longs to give to each person.
PRAYER: FATHER, forgive me for comparing myself to others. Help me to place my faith and trust in You and Your plan for my life. Lead and guide my thoughts in the right direction so that I may hear the voice of Your Spirit speaking into my spirit. Direct my steps and help me see how wonderfully You created me under Your watchful eye and how precious Your thoughts are daily towards me. In Jesus’ name, amen.