My mother taught me the children’s rhyme, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words shall never hurt me.” The intended use of the rhyme was to deflect name-calling and verbal bullying and to teach children that name calling cannot hurt; thereby, making words harmless. Interestingly, being hit by a stick or stone can quickly heal, but a verbal assault is a poison that penetrates deep within the mind, heart, and soul, and can last a lifetime.
At age seven, I learned very quickly that words have the power to injure when classmates began bullying me with hurtful, demeaning words. The bullying eventually progressed to physical attacks. Hurt and confused, I became withdrawn and so fearful of going to school, that I developed severe eczema. Doubting my worth and intelligence, my grades dropped from “excellent” to “poor and “not passing.” I had mentally surrendered to the bullies’ verbal lies.
At age 27, I was newly divorced and mentally and emotionally broken from a verbally abusive marriage. It was then, that I surrendered my heart to Jesus Christ and received a new identity in Him. In that surrendering of my life and will to Him, I learned that my true value and worthiness can only come through my Redeemer, for “if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new” (2 Corinthians 5:17).
I came to understand that hurting people hurt people; therefore, we are called to forgive, love, and pray for those who have hurt us (Matthew 5:44). Jesus said that when we stand praying, if we are holding anything against anyone, we are to forgive them, so that our Father in heaven may forgive us our sins (Mark 11:25; Matthew 6:14).
The vitriol and hatred that we are witnessing throughout the world is beyond the pale. People are trusting in false narratives and identifying with various causes and not with Jesus Christ. Hostility has replaced civility. Even many Christians, who are called to be a voice of hope and love, have joined in the negative discourse.
Hateful words have a way of negatively shaping the mind of the speaker and of those who are on the receiving end. Positive, affirming words encourage and give hope to both the one speaking and to the one who receives, because “kind words are like honey…sweet to the soul and healthy for the body” (Proverbs 16:24).
Our soul is nourished when we are kind, but we destroy ourselves when we are unkind and unfeeling. Equally, a kind word spoken to us nourishes our soul. Therefore, we must be careful to speak words that bring life and health, because a harsh tongue crushes the spirit (Proverbs 11:17; Proverbs 15:4).
We learn the power and importance of our words when we understand that God spoke the Word and the worlds came into exitance. “By the Word of the Lord the heavens were made, their starry host by the breath of His mouth.” “For He spoke, and it came to be. He commanded and it stood firm”(Psalm 33:6;9).
When we speak God’s Word, we tap into His power, for His Word does not return to Him void (Isaiah 55:11). He tells us, “Let the one who has My Word speak it faithfully.” “Is not My Word like fire,” declares the LORD, “and like a hammer that breaks a rock in pieces?” (Jeremiah 23:28-29). God’s powerful Word defeats the enemy.
We should never underestimate the power of God’s Word and the words we speak. King David knew the power of his words and prayed that God would help him keep from speaking anything that the enemy could use against him. For “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit” (Proverbs 18:21). What a powerful revelation! The words that we speak have such great power, that they can be used for destruction or for good.
We may feel justified in our verbal assessments and assassinations, but the Word warns us that “the tongue is undisciplined, evil, and full of deadly poison. For out of the same mouth flows blessing and cursing. This should not be. Both saltwater and fresh water cannot come from the same spring” (James 3: 8-12). Destructive words curse the person to whom those words are directed. If we bless others, they are blessed, and if we curse them, they are cursed (Numbers 22:6).
The enemy is very good at capturing spoken negative words and making them profitable for evil (Ecclesiastes 10:20 ESV). Conversely, Satan is defeated when God’s Word is coming from a place of unshakable faith. We see the exchange when Satan encountered Jesus in the desert and attempted to cause Him to fall. Jesus responded three times, “It is written,” and then Hequoted Scripture that quelled Satan’s plans.
“The tongue has the power of life and death” (Proverbs 18:21). How often do we speak negative words about ourselves? “I’ll never be able to do that.” “I’m stupid.” “I can’t…” “I’m afraid of…” The list of negative self-talk is endless. Then there are words that we speak about other people. Are our words uplifting, affirming, and encouraging, or do they accuse, condemn, criticize, and judge? Ephesians 4:19 tells us not to allow corrupt talk to come from our mouths, but only words that build up and give grace to the one who hears.
Words matter. That is why Jesus gave a strong warning to be careful about the words we speak. “But I tell you that everyone will have to give an account on the day of judgment for every empty word they have spoken. For by your words, you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned” (Matthew 12:36-37 NIV).
That is a sobering scripture that should cause us to think about the words we speak. Are our words uplifting or condemning? Do our words build others up or do our words tear down? For we are told that “gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones” (Proverbs 16:24). Like King David, we must ask God to set a guard over our mouth and keep watch over the door of our lips (Psalm 141:4). For it is by our words that we are either acquitted or condemned.
The enemy may not know what we think but he can certainly hear our words. Negative words give Satan ammunition to perform that which we speak. Positive words invite God “to create the [good] fruit of [our] lips” (Isaiah 57:19). That is why we cannot allow corrupt, negative talk to come forth from our mouths, but only those words that build up to give grace to those who hear (Ephesians 4:29).
What we think is what we speak, so we must carefully choose our words. For the words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing (Proverbs 12:18). Hence, when tempted to speak negatively about ourselves or others, we must remember that our words have power to build up or to tear down.
PRAYER: FATHER, I ask Your forgiveness for speaking unfruitful words that have judged and criticized others and myself. “Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer” (Psalm 19:14). In Jesus’ name. Amen.