A Biblical Marriage (For Women)

You can be confident that God wants you to have a successful marriage. Scripture has a great deal to say to men on how to lead and how to love you, but it also has a great deal to say to you about the way you should view and treat your husband. The problem is that most in today’s culture is not willing to accept what Scripture teaches. But does it not make sense to consider what God says since it is God who created and blessed the institution of marriage?

Marriage is so important to God that He chose to bless marriage whether the couple married are believers or not. God created the home before He created the Church, and so we would do well to study the portrait God paints of a successful marriage. As noted in the article written to men, if money, sex, and a comfortable lifestyle were the foundations for a successful marriage then, Hollywood would be the standard. Obviously, Hollywood is the poster child for divorce and broken marriages. When the Bible describes a happy marriage, it shows an image that most of today’s society would scoff at.

Read carefully God’s description of a Godly wife, and I will attempt to explain this passage of Scripture in a way that applies to today’s marriages. “Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the Church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband” Ephesians 5:22-24, 33.

Wives, Allow Your Husband Lead
Most men want to lead their families, but many do not know how. It is important that as a wife, you let your husband lead. This means he will make many mistakes, but when those mistakes are made, you can let him know how glad you are that he is stepping into areas that may be uncomfortable for him. Let him know that you support him in leading.

The Bible says that one way you can show your husband that you want him to lead is by submitting to him. As I type this, I can feel women rolling their eyes. But consider why the Bible teaches that wives are to submit to their husbands. First off, notice it says clearly that “wives’ are to “submit to their own husbands.” It never says that women should be submissive to men.

As a father of two daughters, I do not want to see my girls have to be subjected to that type of thinking. Scripture is in no way promoting a male-chauvinistic attitude. The purpose of this type of teaching is to show the careful balance of marriage. When our lives align to what God says is best, then we can see His design work in our own lives.

So why does the Bible say a wife should be submissive? Is this not degrading? Well, consider this, the Bible commands the husband to love his wife in a sacrificial way. Paul goes so far as to say that husbands should follow Christ’s example to the Church and love in the sacrificial way that Christ gave Himself for the Church!

Honestly, would you, as a wife, not want to follow that type of love? Would you have a problem trusting your husband and allowing him to lead, even if making mistakes, when you knew his heart and intentions for you?

This is the careful balance of marriage. When men love their wives as Christ loves the Church, and continuously keeps their best interest in mind, then why would the wife have any hang-ups about following his lead and trusting that type of love? This is what the Bible says a successful marriage looks like.

Wives, Honor Your Husband as You Honor Christ
When you became a Christian, you took on the name and identified as a Christian. it meant that you wanted to follow Christ and honor him with your life. I would hope that you would never intentionally hurt the Name of Christ. Obviously, we fail and sin from time to time, but would you maliciously slander the name of Jesus? Would cause Christ to look bad to others? I certainly hope not!

In a similar way, when you married your husband, most took his family name. Just as you wish to honor the name of Christ, you should also want to honor his name. I think honoring your husband means that you speak well of him to others. This means you should not run him down to friends or co-workers, you should not publicly highlight his shortcomings or inadequacies. You should seek to honor him, just as you would honor the Lord.

When your husband senses that you are trying to honor him and hold him in high esteem, it causes something in men to want to rise to the occasion. You will see him step up his leadership and love you in a deeper, more fulfilling way.

Wives, Respect Your Husband
As a man, the greatest need your husband has is not sex. It is respect! Ask any psychologist or counselor and they will tell you that men have a deep need to feel respected. As a wife, it probably hurts you when you do not feel your husband does not want to connect with you emotionally. I fell my own wife in that area so often. Most men just are not emotional and it is difficult for us to understand how women are wired.

In a similar way, I think women face the same challenge with men. Men need to feel respected and it may be hard for women to understand this. But when we can see and understand that God has truly wired men and women different then instead of fighting with one another, we would begin to complement one another as God originally intended.

Your Marriage Will Never Be Perfect
Your marriage will never be perfect, but it can be much better. For those who may be considering leaving their husbands, ask yourself if you have been following the Biblical pattern for a successful marriage. What a shame it would be to throw away what God has joined together mainly because we are not doing life the way God originally intended.

Sure, the grass is always greener on the other side, until you get there! Then you discover that it is the same grass as before. Don’t throw away what the Lord has given you. Follow His design, put in the hard work and trust the Lord with the results.

I have never had a couple tell me that they regret staying in their marriage and weathering the storms of life, but I have had numerous people tell me that they regret walking away.