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Chad Roberts

“Let marriage be held in honor among all and let the marriage bed be undefiled. For God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.” Hebrews 13:4

These are piercing words for our culture. This Scripture reminds me that I don’t have to be a product of my society. My marriage can be different…your marriage can be different. Our homes can look opposite of this current culture. I want my marriage and my children to be vastly different than what I’m seeing today.

The author of Hebrews gives wise instruction to those who would be serious about following Jesus. We would do well to pay attention to this important verse. The potential effects could be huge in your marriage. Following the godly advice of this text can bring tremendous safety and peace to you and your spouse in these difficult days.

Let Marriage Be Held In Honor Among All

Let us consider what this phrase means. Do you honor your marriage? In other words, do you hold your spouse in high esteem? Are you quick to brag about your spouse or do you find yourself constantly nitpicking, or always comparing your marriage with others? When this verse says that marriage should be held in honor, I ask myself, “How am I currently honoring my wife?”

This verse also says that marriage should be held in honor, “Among all.” June 26, 2015, was a fateful day for the United States. The Supreme Court legalized same-sex marriage in all 50 states. Not only was the ruling to uphold sin difficult to watch, it was seeing people glory in sin that bothered me most. I will never forget the avalanche of defiance against God’s Word as that night. If you recall, the White House lit up the same sex rainbow colors. The United States Education Department boasted same-sex victories. Google, YouTube, Apple, Facebook and a host of others joined in the ungodly celebrations.

I have never seen our culture offend God more than on the day of June 26th. While God says that marriage is honorable, our legal system and our current culture smacked God in the face with outright defiance and prideful rebellion.

Of course, Christians do not have much of a leg to stand on in the world’s eyes. Why? Because Christians couples divorce at the drop of a hat. Indeed, these spiritually dark days. It should be vibrant Christian marriages that God can use to show His glory and His gospel to this culture. If we as Christ followers will view our own marriage as God does, then we will honor our marriage rather than complain or worse, cheating or divorcing.

And Let The Marriage Bed Be Undefiled
Christians will often ask, “What is permissible in the marriage bed?” I do not think the Bible prohibits anything within the marriage bed outside of sexual immorality with another person other than your spouse. It is outside the marriage bed that can defile a marriage. Now, this is an important subject because many marriages are lacking in the area of passion. When Christian marriages lack in passion, so often a spouse (male or female) will go searching to find it in another. A Christian marriage can study what is permissible in the Old Testament book of Song of Solomon. After careful study, you would be very, very surprised what the language the Bible uses for Christian romance.

Perhaps one of the greatest things you can do for your marriage is to rekindle romance and passion. I would also recommend reading, “His Needs, Her Needs” to begin to understand the God-given differences between men and women and how you can have a better and satisfying marriage.

So if Scripture does not give details nor restrictions as to what can “defile” the marriage bed, then what exactly is author of Hebrews saying? The answer is in the next phrase…

For God Will Judge The Sexually Immoral and Adulterous

While the sin of homosexuality is a serious issue, be assured that immorality of any kind is a serious issue to the Lord. Sadly, some Christians will judge a homosexual, yet that same Christian may be having an affair. Is their sin any better? No! God will judge the sexually immoral.

What is defined as immorality? First, it should be noted that the Bible never shows us, “How far is too far.” What the Bible stresses is purity. Scripture considers immorality as the following

Fornication & Adultery
Fornication is any sexual act between two unmarried people. Adultery is any sexual act between married people with someone other than their spouse. Both are serious offenses against our Creator.

Someone might ask, “Is sexual sin any worse than other sins like lying or gluttony?” The answer is actually, Yes, sexual sin is on a different level than all other sins. Consider 1 Corinthians 6:18, “Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.”
God makes His expectations on sexual sin crystal clear. The problem is that our culture neither reads nor cares to know what God says. Perhaps if you are taking the time to read this, you are different?

Perhaps you do care what God says. If so, consider this, “Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God” Galatians 5:19-21.

God’s Plan For Your Marriage
I am thankful God cares about our marriages. He wants to bless our homes, but God cannot bless over sin. He cannot and He will not. So if your marriage is currently struggling with sin, then I want to encourage you to repent. God has blessed you with your spouse. Consider building your home on the principles of God’s Word.

I will leave you with one other important verse and then I encourage you to read my article, “Sex, Marriage & Money Pt. 2” continuing the discussion into Hebrews 13:5. I will show you how God wants to be in the midst of your marriage and how He can bless your home.

“For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God” 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5.

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