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Chad Roberts

“I opened to my beloved, by my beloved had turned and gone.” Song of Solomon 5:6

In Song of Solomon 5, a tragedy of mistiming happens in a relationship. I have seen the story of Song of Solomon play out many times in my counseling office. I do not believe I have ever counseled a couple where both spouses wanted a divorce at the same time. Typically it is initiated by one spouse leaving the other shell shocked. Often, the spouse who initiates the divorce is the one who has tried, sometimes for years, to see an improvement in the marriage. Over time, they give up, leaving the shell shocked spouse saying something like, “I didn’t know you were unhappy.”

In Song of Solomon 5, the wife waits patiently for her husband to come home. According to verse 2, he does not arrive until the early morning hours because the morning dew has fallen upon his head. When he comes to the door he finds it locked. He asks her to open the door, but she refuses. When she finally does come to the door, she finds her husband is gone.

I can’t tell you how many couples I have seen who called it quits. One spouse is willing to try while the other has given up. One spouse wants counseling, the other doesn’t. So they divorce. Life goes on…but after a while, sometimes 6 months or 18 months, the spouse who initiated the divorce realizes what a mistake they made. Now, that spouse is willing to change, willing to go to counseling, but sadly, it is over. It is a tragedy of mistiming. I’ve seen it over and over again.

If you are someone who has walked away from your marriage…or you are thinking of walking away, I want to encourage you to trust Jesus to heal what has been broken. I also want to warn you to not allow the tragedy of mistiming to be your story. What you are feeling and going through is one chapter. It is not the final chapter. If God’s grace can restore a broken, sinful heart, then surely His grace can restore a broken, shattered marriage. Don’t walk away. Run to Jesus. Come to counseling. Seek God’s heart and you will be amazed at what His grace can do in your life and your marriage.

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